Not Every Day

Book.  Masters degree.  Baby.

2015 is a big year, to say the least.  I sometimes wonder if I will ever top it, and then I secretly hope I never do...because, guys, it's ridiculous and exhausting.

But, it's not every day that you get a box on your doorstep filled with a dream come true.

Today, I hold in my hands the compilation of a million feelings.  It's a tangible representation of so much for me - hopes, fears, pride, anguish, joy, and the support of countless people I'm forever indebted to for praying for me, believing in me, and cheering me on to the very end.

The best part?  Even though I wrote the last word of this book months and months ago, it's about to be launched into the great unknown for the first time ever!  New eyes, fresh minds, and eager hearts will soon get to dive into the wild frontier of my brain through this paperbound edition of my sweat and tears!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO READ IT!

For All Maternity will be available via all major online bookstores, including AMAZON, starting May 1st!  

*For those in the Nashville area, you'll want to mark your calendars for Saturday, May 9th and come on out to Pottery Barn Kids at the Green Hills Mall from 11:30am - 3pm where I'll be holding my very first book signing!  I'd love to take a pic with you, and be sure and sign up for the giveaway in the store!

*For readers in Kansas (my home state!) I'll be having a hometown book signing event at BlueBird Books in downtown Hutchinson, Kansas at 11am on May 16th!  I hope to see many familiar faces and hug those that I'm long overdue to catch up with!

*For everyone else - DON'T WORRY!  You won't miss out on all the fun!  I'll be holding giveaways right HERE on the blog soon enough.  I'll also be offering FREE AUTOGRAPHED BOOKPLATES to anyone interested so you can turn your ordered book into an official "signed copy"no matter where you live!

Starting Friday, order your copies of For All Maternity via Amazon or other online retail source, and then email me at emily@pardymama.com with specifications on personalization and your shipping address so I can send a customized bookplate your way!

Verses For a Taxing Day

It's been a taxing day.  And I'm not talking W-4's and 1099's.

My girls (3 and 5) are just fighting.  Fighting allergies.  Fighting frustrations.  Fighting each other.  And fighting the plague of impatience that seems to have settled upon our house lately.

If you have (or used to have) little ones, you get how intolerably frustrating the sounds of whining, bickering, and demanding can be.  The incessant "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom..." echoes through my ears like a fire alarm that won't quit (and whose batteries you hope die out before you smash it to smithereens).

My sleep is constantly disturbed.  The to-do list keeps growing.  The rain won't stop long enough to reprieve our cabin fever.  The noise-level in the home is having a contest with my blood pressure to see which one sky rockets faster. You get the picture?

Needless to say, we all have our moments where we wake up and just think "This is the life I chose and love...but, I just can't quite remember why at this very moment!"

Take a deep breath with me if you can relate.  Exhale.  I don't know about you, but I need a big mid-month dose of PEACE right about now.  I need me a serious gulp of PERSEVERANCE followed by a chaser of HOPE.

Drink up the truth.  Throw it back like a crazy lady who lives in the reckless abandon of a Sovereign Savior who's got this nutty world in the palm of His hand.  Join me in throwing my arms up in the air and letting Christ have the last word on WHY I'm in this time and place and how it makes a difference.

I hope you read the verses in this post and feel soothed, energized, encouraged, and restored.  I hope you remember you are so not alone!  Taxing days come and go.  We may not always get all the sleep we need.  We may not always get the to-do list completed.  But we can always rest knowing He's got it under control.

Maybe you don't have toddlers screaming in your face.  Maybe you have far deeper struggles than you know what to do with.  We've all got taxes to pay for the life that we lead.

But, no matter if you're tackling a laundry pile or a mountain of strife, HE CARES.

I leave you today with this prayer from the book "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow:

God, you know my feelings are going haywire; they scream and shout that this situation is terrible and that there is no hope.  God, I hope in You.  I can't see what You are doing, but I trust that You're working this situation together for good.  Thank You that You have promised to use it to make me more liek Christ.  Thi sis what I want - it just doesn't feel good today.  Give me the strength to focus my eyes on you and not on what I can see.

Belly Ninja

I've been up since 3am.  No, not just awake - UP.

I knew having another baby would come with less sleep - I just didn't know it would start at 21 weeks of pregnancy!

As with my first two girls, I'm convinced this baby is a zombie with unique martial arts skills.  I dream about who she is, trying to picture a sweet, snuggly little girl all wrapped up in pink...but, at three in the morning when my belly is thumping and my eyes are half-closed, all I can picture is a little version of Jackie Chan in there, kicking butt and taking names.

Pretty sure I need this shirt!

The movement of an unborn human inside my body is one of the most wondrous, ridiculously awesome experiences of my life.  While the jabs and swirls are virtually indescribable, I find myself telling non-parent friends what it feels like in the simplest terms.

Uh, it just feels exactly like what you'd think it feels like?!

Can anyone describe this a little better for me?  Honestly, I'm at a loss.  I think this is one of those times in life when you are so mesmerized by the process that it seems like putting words to it instantly diminishes its significance no matter what.

I can't seem to match the language to the action, and when I try, it comes out something like this:

It's like rainbows bursting out of my stomach.
It's like a little dog walking around in circles before settling into a cozy spot.
It's like a popped toaster springing up a bagel that doesn't quite fit.
It's like a rippling brook, constantly moving yet soothing.
It's like when you blend a smoothie and then the air bubble spurts up when you stop it.
It's like there's a shooting star stuck in a hot air balloon, trying to get out.
It's like there's a little human being growing inside me, flexing growing muscles and stretching new bones that have yet to see sunlight.

See how that last one just rolls right in with the absurd?  AND IT'S TRUE!

Right?!

My little belly ninja has several weeks to go before I get to kiss her smooshy little pink face.  There are countless kicks and hiccups and gas bubbles to feel in the coming months, and I'm treasuring each one.  I know that soon enough these little movements might turn painful and extremely uncomfortable (reality sets in a little sooner by the third baby!)  But, I pray I never take for granted the awesomeness of this weird feeling.

Sure, I'll lose more sleep.  Yes, I'll get cranky and uncomfortable.  I might even start whining and complaining the closer the due date gets (Who, me?)  But, through all the words that describe my feelings and aches and pains, know there is an indescribable experience behind each one that simply has no language.

The tiniest of actions...speaking louder than any words I've ever known.

How would you describe your baby's movements when you were pregnant?  

What does it feel like to YOU?

Easy Does It

My life is a series of deadlines right now.  Goals, checklists, schedules, and countdowns cloud my brain like you wouldn't believe.  (Okay, maybe you would!)

19 weeks until the baby is due
16 weeks until grad school ends
7 weeks until summer semester starts
5 weeks until our family roadtrip
3 weeks until the spring semester ends
1 week until I have three big projects due

And the list goes on...

It's a game of red-light-green-light in the crossroads of my brain, constantly starting and stopping tasks, trying to manage the mental traffic jam that keeps clogging my thoughts. Ya feel me on this one, folks?

WHERE IS MY EASY BUTTON?

The truth is, even if I had an easy button there is a good chance that by now it would be so punched-in from overuse I would have broken it by now.  (No doubt it would be covered in marker and sticky fingerprints at the very least!)

Why, oh why doesn't God give us an easy button in life?  Why must I trudge on and exhaust myself on the never-ending chores that strings together days into weeks?

Why?

Because, it matters.

I cling to this truth minute by minute.  God cares and loves us enough to place us within a time-containing world where we get to consciously enjoy the experience of the present unlike any of His other creations. But, this is oh-so-much harder than it sounds.

These little moments that make up pathways to deadlines are LIFE itself.  I keep having to remind myself that it's here, it's happening, it's now.  I don't know about you, but when my kids are yelling, the water is boiling over on the stove, and the pile of laundry yet-to-be-folded piles higher and higher on my couch, the very last thing on my to-do list is to stop and cherish the moment!

I get so easily caught up in the WHAT to do that I completely lose sight of the HOW amazing it all is.  I have children!  I have a house!  I have a husband who kisses me daily!  I have a brain that soaks up new ridiculous information!

But most days, I can hardly hear these wonders over all the complaining and grumbling clouding my mind.  I'm tired.  I'm too busy.  I'm not perfect.  (Hey - don't leave me hanging here - please high-five me on these vulnerable feelings!)

But, good grief, I'm in it for the long haul and not willing to hit the fast-forward button on any of it.

Life is stupid-short.  This whole "time" thing is uncomfortable and unsettling because our souls long for an eternal space where they can stretch out and won't need to comprehend the definition of "balance".  In this world, we don't have the luxury of hitting the pause button, going into slow-motion, or skipping past the parts we don't like.  What's better, we have the privilege of handing over the remote control of our lives to the only One who truly knows how the story should play out.

Okay, God.  If I can't edit my life into a highlight reel, then I'm sure glad You are in the director's seat!

Let's stop counting down and start counting blessings instead.  Join me in the effort to stop searching for the easy button in life.  (Deep breaths! Hugs! High fives! We can do it!)

We're in this together, folks!  And while it might not get easier, it sure does get sweeter.