Detox

This last weekend the Pardys did something unprecedented in the Pardy home.  Unheard of.  Nearly, entirely foreign.  We did a 48 hour "detox diet" and have (barely) lived to tell about it.  Now, before you write this off as a totally "TMI" post about anecdotes of running to the bathroom all weekend, never you fear - it wasn't really that kind of body cleanse (thank goodness).  Since I'm still nursing baby Daphne, I wouldn't try anything too extreme and am not really into any kind of stimulant/crazy sort of flush.  No, no, none of that.

Since going on vacation last month and then having Daphne's birthday straight after, we had turned our usually moderately-healthy household into a regular sugar factory...seriously, I was expecting Willy Wonka to show up on my doorstep any day.  So, when I stumbled across "Dr. Oz's 48-hour Weekend Cleanse", it caught my eye and piqued my interest just enough to entertain the idea.

When I presented it to my husband (fully expecting raised eyebrows and a scoff of "Are you crazy?") I was shocked when he replied with a resounding "I could use that!"  Haha.  Alrighty then.  One long-receipted trip to Sprouts Market and we were off, so to speak.  Never before had my fridge encountered the likes of quinoa, fennel, raw ginger, or rice milk.  Needless to say I was a bit frightened and a little intimidated at what exactly might occur.

I'll be real honest here, I was pumped to get this going, but sincerely not sure if I could follow through.  After choking down the flax-seed-oil-soaked-quinoa and prunes for breakfast (sorry if you just threw up in your mouth a little bit at that) I genuinely hoped the rest of the day would be more palatable.

By 1pm I was sure it had been at least a week since we started the detox.  Turns out, I'm totally a wuss when it comes to this.  Not that I'm any stranger to depravity.  In fact, we had just agreed that August would be yet another month to entirely give up eating out.  That's right, we're at it again.  Fully cooking at home every meal and trying to pinch a few pennies here or there.  It is not easy and I can't say I'm "excited" to clean the dishes from each meal every night, but the challenge is inviting and I'm up for it knowing the reward in the end.

The challenge.  There you have it.  The real reason behind the detox.  I wasn't trying to shed any pounds or prove anything, necessarily.  I definitely had some unhealthy habits forming (I'm not sure anyone should be consuming as much Diet Coke as I had been???) But, I liked the idea of challenging myself with something short-term that seemed difficult yet attainable.

I don't know, maybe I've been watching the Olympics too much.  Maybe seeing all those crazy-fit people and their abs that pierce through my TV every night has gotten to me.  But, I just felt sluggish, slowish, and downright sloppy about feeding myself whatever happened to be convenient and around...not exactly a model example I want my children to live by!

By day two, I really thought I was losing my mind.  When you are completely in a normals state and feeling well, a smoothie the shade of anti-freeze is the last thing you want to consume.  But, when you are out-of-your-mind-starving-your-brains-out...you would rather go outside in the hot sun and mow the yard rather than drink one.  And that is exactly what "morning snack smoothie" tasted like...fresh cut grass.

Don't get me wrong, not everything on the diet was disgusting.  I could stomach the smoothing with blueberries and banana.  The vegetable soup was okay the first time around.  But, when you are dreaming of large pepperoni pizzas as you gulp down something that looks like you scraped it off the bottom of your shoe...well, it's just no fun.  That is the honest truth.  I'll say this - if you've never eaten before, or if you have no tongue - you should totally try this diet!  There is my resounding testimony.

Okay, okay, I shan't be so harsh.  No doubt my liver, gall bladder, and kidneys are thanking me.  The first and foremost point of the detox itself is to boost your body's natural "filtration system" and certainly it didn't kill me to consume massive quantities of fruits and vegetables for 48 hours.  But, am I fit to be vegan?  Heck, holy cheeseburger, no.

I'll say this - I got stellar sleep.  I sank into my bed both nights in utter exhaustion and had about 20 dreams each time that left me well rested and feeling great in the morning.  Now, that's saying something!  Surprisingly, as hungry as I went to bed the night prior, I awoke with energy and vigor the next morn.  So, take that for what it's worth.  Nevertheless, I have never dreamt of a more enormous breakfast burrito in my whole life, either.

So, what's with this challenge?  Get healthier?  Sure.  Set some goals?  I think so.  Do good for yourself?  Yes.  This silly detox taught me that it's really not a bad idea to try new things.  I would consider myself a rather "adventurous eater" and yet, in my thirties, there are still foods I have yet to eat - let alone attempt to cook myself.  That's exciting!  I think it is invigorating to capture things you feel might be intimidating (even glow-in-the-dark smoothies!) and challenge yourself to go after them.

Start small.  Try quinoa, for example (right after you google search "what the heck is quinoa").  Take a class you never thought you would.  Learn to ride a unicycle.  Ask a neighbor to dinner.  Try on scandalous lingerie (for your husband). Buy a guinea pig.  Rent a foreign documentary.  Paint on canvas with your hands.  Go out without makeup on.  Call your cousin.

Maybe all I did was flush out my liver and consume scary smoothies...but, really, I think I snuck a toe or two outside this comfortable box I call home.  Sometimes it is awesome to peak outside every now and then.  Try new things.  Challenge ourselves.  You just never know what it might lead to.