Sentimental Mama

Well, we just got back from Daphne's six-month check up. Six Months. Whoa. If I thought the pregnancy went fast, it's really nothing compared to how time warps after the baby arrives. And I think that warp speed must increase exponentially with each child, since I swear that Daphne's first six months have flown by faster than Matilda's first six weeks did. Whew.

Thank the Lord her appointment went very well and was extraordinarily typical. (Yay for normal!) And (not to anyone's surprise) she is measuring above average in all directions (I like to think this applies to her brains and good looks as well...of course!)

Yes, my little chunky monkey is up to 18 lbs 4 oz...almost double her birth weight (but, not quite!) Just to put this in perspective - Matilda measured almost 20 lbs at ONE YEAR. So, yes, it seems this little sister is eager to kick her title to the curb and potentially lap her "big" sister in size sometime soon. I figure if they can start sharing the same size clothes, then it is just less laundry confusion for me and my husband (who, oh-so-lovingly dressed Matilda in one of Daphne's shirts the other morning for church and I just couldn't help but burst out laughing as Matilda walked up to me looking totally confused with her sleeves up her forearms and her belly button nearly showing. Whoopsie! Gotta love a daddy in a hurry who only means well!)

As baby Daphne continues to grow at an alarming pace, it has almost entirely taken the pressure off of me to keep up with Matilda. It's like after they hit a year, that's it - you grieve the "babyhood" and begrudgingly start to refer to them as your "toddler" or "kid" or "child". Sure, you still toss around the "baby" lovingly - but to those around you who hear it, they assume it is more like a nickname or a sweet pet name referring to your now-walking/climbing/dancing little youngster. But "baby" is still said deep in your heart, with each child, with each month that passes, and the older your kid gets, the more deeply rooted they become as your baby, indeed. I know it's a cliche - "You'll always be my baby" - but there is truth to it. I know I will not always remember every little idiosyncrasy each of my babies have (it kills me to say that!) and I have to write down each and every milestone so that it doesn't slip away. But, I know that when I look into my child's eyes - even when she will be older and completely embarrassed by the notion - I will see a glimmer of the chubby cheeked tiny little babe I used to nurse each night back to sleep.

Now, with Matilda, she is just this little sponge of knowledge, soaking up every little piece of information that gets thrown her way (it's frightening). I only hope she uses her powers for good and not evil...at least the majority of the time! But her little face is total "girl" now, total "kid", and I don't refer to her age as months or weeks or days. She's 2. It was difficult for me when she turned one year old...to depart from some of those "babyisms" - to wean her, to let her start to climb the couch, to allow this little independent spirit to blossom. But, only 2 days after she turned one, we learned we were pregnant again! So, I have to say, as emotional as it was (granted, the hormones were certainly flying at the time!) I also had this peace that in only a few months time I would be holding a new little baby and get to relive it all over again.

And here I am! Six months in, and it is just a circus of joy. Yes, we all know how crazy and exhausting it is - but, there is still that tugging at my heart every day to stare at this new baby and soak up all her littlest details.

Halfway to ONE. It just doesn't seem possible. I keep thinking we just brought her home. I keep thinking her birth and name and arrival is NEWS to the world. But, the truth is - I've had four friends give birth just this month alone and, amazingly (ha), turns out there is a big difference between a newborn and a six-month-old! I remember six months ago, looking at a six or seven-month-old and knowing that it would be very soon that Daphne would be their size, making those movements, getting busier and louder each minute. But, you just can't fathom what the next stage will hold. You just can't jump ahead and think about how this time will fast forward in a blink of an eye. I just can't allow myself to take those mental leaps and bounds and already start to long for a time that I'm presently in! Stop! Look at her now! Sigh. Okay, she is still a little baby. My little baby. My huge, ginormous, chunky monkey little baby.

I know she is the one who got the shots today - who cried and waled and just needed me to hold her close. But, let's face it - I think I'm the sadder of the two of us today. Six months old already. C'mere my little baby. Mama needs another hug.